People change?

Do people really change?

Once I read a story about a man, hard supporter of white race supremacy, who all of a sudden switched side and became an angel in his neighborhood, blind to colors. That change happened after a fatal accident.

How about me? Let's have a look, see...
My mother always picture me as a good boy, adventurous, active, and, mind you.. devout! She seems to land on a reality these days, she knows that her beloved son is "not the same person" she knew and she, along with my father, try their best to put me back to my "true bearing".

My friends remember me as a rather crazy person who was possible of doing ANY thing, they dared not to bet on anything. They also thought that I was a patient man, who always maintain composure in any critical situation. I wonder what they see in me nowadays....

I have been looking myself lately and find me .... diferent.

United Indonesia Cabinet

Ministers took an oath of commitment this morning in a ceremony that is presided by our newly appointed president and the cabinet is dubbed United Indonesia Cabinet. I have been waiting for the moment since yesterday. I waited even for the naming of the president's cabinet members. Too bad, I was overslept last night, bus ride in crowded Jakarta street really exhausted my energy reserved which already slackened by fasting.

My attention has been really fixed to this political issue; Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono new cabinet formation. I even followed the ceremony of him formally taking the presedency. This is bugging me now....

Am I the one who did not make it to exercise my rights to vote in the second stage of presidential election? Am I the one who said that military and democracy simply a myth? But then again, I am the one who wrote that hope is driving people to move on. If I did not vote it does not mean that I was losing my hope, maybe, just maybe, I was just disappointed that my candidate (Mr Reform) could not make it to the second election stage. Disappointment sometimes leads a person to do silly thing. Look at our outgoing president, she did not show up in our new president's inauguration yesterday, albeit the presence of dignitaries from amiable countries. Or... perhaps I simply don't have enough confindence on him, new bloke on the block who gains popularity among wives and mothers around Indonesia because he posed himself as a victim of political tyrany.

Well, live goes on, now let us put our hope high up. 100 first days are ahead, we are yet to see how this firstly-directly-appointed president and his confidants fulfill their commitment to do their utmost and work honestly to bring our beloved country back to its glory days....err...what day is that?

Life is like...

Like what?
- A box of chocolate as per Forest Gump, you don't know what you will bite before you open its cover
- Pool balls, once you hit the white ball from the cue it will touch one ball and that one ball will touch other balls and that other balls will then touch further ball, etc. etc.,
- Frames in your film camera, you just exist in one frame and other frames are left for other to see,
- A theater stage, its stories change nite by nite, characters are merely part of the main story,

For me, right now, right here, life is like walking right before an interception ahead of you. You do whatever you wanna do, you can turn left or right, you can go straight. Before you take that decision, you may as well look up a traffic but you may not do it, it IS your decision, too. As you go ahead, you may expect that somebody is going and bump in to you from those sides of the street (that makes you be cautious), hopefully the one that bumps into you is none but Christina Aguilera, but there is always a HOPE that nobody is fool enough to go from the corner without giving any signs and thus you go as you were.

Is it reasonable enough? What a hey, nobody's gonna sue me for sharing this pointless thought, anyhow.

Marhaban ya Ramadhan

Hasta Luego Malmo, 13 October 2003

I see you leaving,
in the morning,
on the early train...
... No I can't stop loving you

So Phil Collins says in his song, sweet sad song, yet it was not really happening to me then, a year ago.

The plane bound to Jakarta (Indonesia) transit in Schipol (Netherlands) and KL (Malaysia) from Kastrup (Denmark) by 6 in the morning so I got to be at the lufthaven (airport) by 5, train ride would take 45 minutes from Malmo Centralen (Sweden)to Kastrup, 10 minutes taxi ride from Disponentgatan to train station, and I had to wait for 3 minutes for the taxi, said the dispatcher.

That means I had to leave my home (for around 2 years) on Disponentgatan by as early as 4 in the morning. Who was crazy enough to wake up that early in the chilly October dawn just to see off this man? Well, I got to wake my dear friend Taufik in the process because when I sat nicely in the taxi I suddenly found out that I could not find my plane ticket in my pocket and I would not be able to open the apartment anymore because all the cards to open the door have been handed over to the landlady, Ms. Carmen "nice lady" Browne. Thus, finally, Taufik was the only person saw me off leaving the city in that early dawn.

Traveller's bag and luggage were all packed up by around 3 that morning, no sleep, I could not and would not sleep my last day there, got to feel the last night sober, for my memory sake. Made few phone calls to some special persons that I promised earlier in my last minutes of existance in Malmo.

Got to face the fact, Malmo is just a blink on the eye of life.
Memory remains, but all that starts must end.

12 October 2003

Today, one year a go...
This man was for the first time in his life graduated for a master's degree.
Just a plain, simple diploma was handed over in a ceremony held at Konserhuset, Malmoe.
A plain simple diploma, a prima facie of many things happened and experienced.

Farewell to a lovely city. City which sheltered him from hot summer, freezing winter and windy days. Goodbye to his brothers and sisters, great people he met and got along during his hard lonely days. Paid his last visit to city parks and squares, spots he spent his summer days having lunch at, memorable place he stared at big moon, Malmoe full moon is something, he would tell people exactly that, do you agree with that moonlight? You could ask that tiny hedgehog curled up by the street, played possum.

Tears fell, laughter bursted, happiness and relieve prevailed; who questioned people to cry, to smile, hold each other to cherish, to say farewell, to congratulate, to glance at spots they missed?

Live on, let bygone be bygone....
yeah.... right, you think I am a robot or something?

Shade of grey

As a litlle boy I was never quite comprehend what shade of grey had been. Back then, black is black and white is white. Anyhow - that little boy thought - who was dumb enough to say black white? Well, seems that all grown ups are dumb.

Do you see the faces sitting "nicely" under the parliament house's roof? The warriors of nation's interest are mere human; albeit their expected good nature, some of them are plain criminals. Our newly elected president comes from Democrat Party and he is a pure blood soldier - democracy and military within one single body?

Can there ever be a 100 per cent happiness? Civis pacem para belum; peace comes out of war.
There is always a glimpse of light in a darkness and the mighty sun has black spots. Decision needs sacrifice. Good decision leaves bad taste in someone's mouth.

Happiness surfaces following the heroes' blood and lovers' tears.

The three angels

They are always happy, even in a hospital.