East becomes West, West becomes North, North becomes ….

That’s exactly what I am feeling these days. Indefinite mood. It changes all the time. What suppose to be right feels very wrong. What usually picks me up makes me down the drain.

What more do I need?
I got perfect family, beautiful wife and great daughters. A fact that I still live with in laws is a set back but apart from that everything is just perfect.
My job is safe, not really enough for luxury but it keeps us survive (plus my wife’s that is).
Career? Apart from the fact that I still sit at the same chair for nearly 6 years, the light is starting to show, still untouched though.
I am in perfect shape; love handled is picking up but my stamina is comparable with 18 years old.

Too much daydreaming, thinking about some unrealistic choices and consequences, troubled days, boredom, mind-fighting, loss, what else, what more do I need??

So what happens? I am sure moonlight knows why.

Suffer

I often heard about how love can set someone’s soul free.
Well, it is not really true in my case.
Love makes me suffer, deeply.

I suffer when I see my love in agony
I suffer when I see my love in fever
I suffer when I see my love happy without me
I suffer when I see someone on the street can not make ends meet
I suffer when I see beggars and I don’t give them anything

Will I suffer if I don’t have any feeling toward someone, somebody, anybody?
If I just erase anyone from my heart, will I suffer from loss?

It is the Day.